East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
