I love black thongs
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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