watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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