I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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