so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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