whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
