Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
