Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize