Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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