i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
