Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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