Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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