life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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