I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
