I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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