Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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