are you so shy because you have an std?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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