Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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