eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize