before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
