one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
