Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
