sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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