Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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