Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
