Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
