Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
