You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
