she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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