So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
