I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
