Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
