I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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