I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
