Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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