This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
