OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
