I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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