Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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