Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
