Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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