I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
