Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
