You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
