Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
