jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
