My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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