Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
