Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
