I haven't been this sober since birth.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
