Im at strip club and am horny
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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