i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
