Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i already hear my dad disowning me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
