I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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