so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
