doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
