I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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