well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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