office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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