Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
