They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
