I accidentally burped into my bong.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The air taste purple.
Randomize