Quick, to the slutcave!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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