I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
