where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My vagina is officially offended.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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