GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
