You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
