We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize