A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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