But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We got so high we made milksteak
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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